[NOTE: This item expresses the views of the individual to whom the item is ascribed and does not necessarily reflect the position of the WRF as a whole.

Rob Bell spoke, back in March, at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. In response to a question about gay marriage he said,  "I am for marriage. I am for fidelity. I am for love, whether it's a man and woman, a woman and a woman, a man and a man. I think the ship has sailed and I think the church needs -- I think this is the world we are living in and we need to affirm people wherever they are."

I do not think the Church of England agrees with Rob Bell.  Nevertheless, on June 5, 2013, it did withdraw its resistance to the legalization of same-sex marriages in England and Wales. The Bishops of the House of Lords (26 of the 763 voting members) said:

"Both Houses of Parliament have now expressed a clear view by large majorities on the principle that there should be legislation to enable same-sex marriages to take place in England and Wales. It is now the duty and responsibility of the Bishops who sit in the House of Lords to recognize the implications of this decision and to join with other Members in the task of considering how this legislation can be put into better shape. The concerns of many in the Church, and in the other denominations and faiths, about the wisdom of such a move have been expressed clearly and consistently in the Parliamentary debate. For the Bishops the issue now is not primarily one of protections and exemptions for people of faith, important though it is to get that right, not least where teaching in schools and freedom of speech are concerned. The Bill now requires improvement in a number of other key respects, including in its approach to the question of fidelity in marriage and the rights of children. If this Bill is to become law, it is crucial that marriage as newly defined is equipped to carry within it as many as possible of the virtues of the understanding of marriage it will replace. Our focus during Committee and Report stages in the coming weeks and months will be to address those points in a spirit of constructive engagement."

Rt Revd Tim Stevens, Bishop of Leicester
Convenor of the Lords Spiritual

I sympathize with Bishop Stevens and the Church of England. You can be disheartened with a legal decision, when your best efforts have proved ineffective, and at the same time know that you need to work to insure its equitable and effective interpretation and application “in a spirit of constructive engagement.”

Following this, 21 days later, came our own Supreme Court decision of June 26, 2013, which disabled anti-same-sex marriage aspects of DOMA and reinstated same-sex marriages in California. It was our own version of what the Bishops of the House of Lords experienced: “deja vu all over again” (Yogi Berra).

How can we follow in the enlightened footsteps of the British Bishops in a country such as ours which does things, legal things, so differently? Is it possible for us to be against same-sex marriage (if we are against same-sex marriage) and, at the same time, as Rob Bell put it, "affirm people wherever they are?"

Maybe there is. Permit me to allow you to treat the following remarks as just friendly talking points. 

There are behaviors which Christians must avoid. Back in the very old days before Constantine followers of Jesus could not be church “members” if they remained idol-makers. Some occupations were viewed as incompatible with Christian faith. Paul, in a famous passage in 1 Corinthians 5 laid it down that certain behaviors would render a person unwelcome in Christian fellowship. But, he clarified, he was not talking about the behaviors of the Christians’ non-Christian friends.

Paul’s argument went like this: there is only one standard of right and wrong: God. BUT Christians only get to apply it inside the church community. They have no business, no right or authority, applying God’s standards to the non-Christian pagan Greco-Roman culture and society that they lived in daily. Such judgment, today and forever, is God's place and prerogative only. This implies (does it not?) that the Corinthians (and we ourselves) were free to help, speaking no word of judgment, the pagan world around them to be the best expression possible of common grace goodness, outside the sphere of redemptive grace.

1 Corinthians 5:9-12 (NIV)

9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people. 12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?

Imagine that the Roman Empire has something akin to same sex-marriages. You know God disapproves of this and so much more of pagan society, but your job is not to correct them or judge them; your job is to be God's common grace, God’s personal rain and sunshine, to their lives, which leads them into lives of relative peace. 

I can imagine that in such a world I might have an acquaintance who lived a promiscuous gay or lesbian lifestyle, and I might say to such a person, when I observed them in emotional distress due to their many relationships: “I know that in Roman society people distressed by the high emotional cost of casual sexual liasons, find some one person they can trust and feel at home with, a confidant with whom they experience affection and caring, and then have a same-sex wedding at city hall. Might doing that make healing sense in your life? Be available to experience the peace you seek! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” 

In the process of doing this in a regular way, you will get to tell your story of peace, the story of the Good God who created us all, in whom we live and move and have our being, who always and everywhere seeks us and is ever available to us and who sent his Son to redeem us.  (Sound familiar: Acts 17, Paul at Athens).  God is the God of love working even now to provide all with the common grace necessary to be open to God’s special grace in Christ. 

1 Timothy 2:1-4 (NIV)

2 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— 2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. 3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

How would a church like this have been received in pagan Corinth?  How might it be received here?  What if our heart’s prayer as well as our first spoken words were always, “How can I help?”

Dr. Geehan is a member of the WRF Board of Directors and may be contacted at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.