What would you think if you heard a PCA Ruling Elder describe his pastor as “the most arrogant man I have ever met?” Or another Ruling Elder label that same pastor a “bully”? You would instantly think, “it just can’t be that way,” which was my reaction upon hearing this. Yet, there are churches where this is the case, even where staff members find their senior pastors so difficult to serve with, that they feel compelled to leave their call to that beloved congregation. These are neither edifying nor tolerable situations, but it does have to be this way.

How can such damaging state of affairs come to be? Why do we hear about pastors vacating their pulpits while under investigation for abuse of their office? While it may be difficult to know exactly what did happen to produce such men, we can almost be certain what did not happen. At the risk of being simplistic, most of these failures are due to pastors not being deeply persuaded that the battle for humility and against pride in their hearts is a lifelong, tenacious struggle, completely unwinnable apart from constant help from others and the Holy Spirit’s power. The spiritually healthy are thoroughly convinced that, as a rule, apart from a robust work of grace:

• What most beautifies us- humility- we least desire;
• What most soils our hearts - pride- we least detect.

Not that pride is unique to the ministry, for all of us are tempted with pride. But, given the clear admonition of Scripture to humility, and the fruit expected to be produced by the Gospel, humility ought to mark the life and ministry of all church leaders. People who make a living pointing others to Jesus, whether in teaching or counsel, ought to adorn Christ’s humble and gentle heart by example in every aspect of their lives. We also ought to know, from experience, that growth in humility is most effectively accomplished in community, especially in fellowship with trusted friends or co-laborers who have courage to challenge our thinking as well as eyes to see our frailties, foibles, idols and sin patterns in ways we cannot without them.

Definitions

Beyond all considerations of gifting and calling to the office of Teaching Elder, by far the most important quality adorning the heart of a pastor is humility. All the talent, charisma, theological prowess or intellect in the world counts for very little if he is reputed to be, or is unaware of being, proud, self-consumed, unapproachable, defensive, petty, inflexible, un-challengeable, intractable, arrogant, or dismissive of other people. Contrary to popular sentiment- that your senior pastor must be a superb preacher, visionary and leader- the Lord’s shepherds first and foremost must be humble, other-centered servants.

1 Peter 5:1-3;6  So I exhort the elders among you…  ² shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; ³ not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock… ⁶Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

Mark 10:44-45 …and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. ⁴⁵ For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Humility is a heart disposition which interprets all of life through the lens of grace and mercy: I have not been given, stunningly, the judgment I deserve, yet I have received, amazingly, far more grace than I deserve. Humble hearts stand tirelessly in awe of the cross and long to be intoxicated with the Gospel, the on-going discovery that, though my heart is more wicked than I ever imagined, I am far more loved than I ever dreamed possible. C.S. Lewis said: Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself, less (paraphrased). Secure in the love of Christ, humble hearts can consider others more important than themselves, putting other’s interests before their own, while submitting to critique.

Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Jonathan Edwards, echoing Augustine and Calvin, wrote about the centrality of humility:

Humility, then, is the most essential thing in true religion. The whole setting of the gospel and everything that belongs to the New Covenant should have this effect upon the hearts of men. Without it there can be no true religion, whatever profession may be made and however intense the person’s religious affections appear to be. 

What are the core elements of humility?

Humility is:

• An affect in the heart: The humble are gripped by the wonder of God’s mercy (2 Corinthians 4:1), know that “I am what I am by the grace of God” (1 Corinthians 15:10), long for God to receive all the glory (1 Corinthians 10:31), and see themselves as nothing (Galatians 6:3).
• Creating a spirit of desperation: The humble believe that “I am the greatest threat to the welfare of my staff and church, and therefore, if left unchecked, my sin will ruin my church and relationships.” (Psalm 19:12-13) Therefore, ruthlessly honest about what tempts him to self-serving, self-promoting, self-protecting, or self-indulging impulses, he runs constantly in repentance to Jesus for grace and others for accountability.
• Resulting in a critique receptivity: The humble are willing to hear criticism and to receive correction (Prov.13:18).
• Producing an attitude in the mind: The humble believe that others are truly more important than themselves and intentionally seek to promote their interests (Phil.2:3-4).
• Empowered by utter dependence upon the Word and Spirit: The humble serve with grace-driven zeal (1 Cor.15:10) and bold confidence in the Lord’s calling (2 Cor.3:1-3).
• Expressed in action: The humble are other-centered servants who daily gird themselves with a servant’s apron (John 13:15; 1 Peter 5:5b).

Locating our Failures

All the elders are responsible for the spiritual well-being of the flock (Acts 20:28), and as such must see themselves as co-laborers with their pastors. The preacher doesn’t have “his ministry.” The entire Session should see every aspect of the church’s work is “our ministry,” a collaborative effort to shepherd the flock.

Without accountability, however, things may begin to trend unhealthy for a senior pastor, his success, knowledge or likeability puffing up his heart. Consider a few of the scenarios which may hinder Ruling Elders from confronting him:

• Not now: “Attendance is booming, the giving is robust- don’t rock the boat.”
• Not him: “He knows best; we can’t challenge him, he speaks for God. He is so gifted. We’ve personally grown so much under his teaching. Plus, it’s rarely helpful to challenge an expert, we’ll look stupid.”
• Not yet: “He is struggling in some area of his life, he just endured a painful trial, so don’t burden him with this.”
• Not us: “If we review him he might insist we also be evaluated and we don’t want that, we are unpaid volunteers and shouldn’t submit to such scrutiny.
• Not them: “We’ll disappoint the attenders, all those appreciative people who week-in and week-out benefit from his messages.”
• Not again: “We tried to challenge him once and that sure didn’t go so well!”

The reality is, none of these are legitimate excuses for neglecting to engage in the straightforward work of regularly dialoguing with a pastor to explore matters of his heart. If he is at all deemed successful, popular or competent, he will be tempted to pride.

Remedies

While many routes could be taken, not least, exploring ways for the credentialing committee of Presbytery to screen candidates for narcissistic personality traits, I will focus on one principal way to safeguard the humble delivery of ministry: Reconstruct and enact a co-laboring vision of leadership.

Ministry is a joint effort of Session and presbyters to oversee the overseer so that he ruthlessly mortifies pride and fosters humility. Ruling and Teaching Elders must co-labor together to cultivate humility in the field of accountability. How? Consider two major areas to perfect:

1) Commit to a shared vision of ministry:

• Joint ownership: All the elders are jointly responsibility for the flock, as well as their pastor’s flourishing in his role as shepherd/teacher. All the elders are called to shepherd the flock (1 Peter 5:1-4), just as the flock is called to submit to all the elders (Hebrews 13:17). Therefore, some portion of Session meetings must be dedicated to shepherding concerns and prayer for the sheep, as well as the elders modeling shepherding care for one another.
• Mutual submission: Because our ordination vows require mutual submission, no elder is to be privileged above another. See PCA BCO:21-5 (pastor’s vows); 24-6 (Ruling Elder’s vows). Do you promise subjection to your brethren in the Lord?
• Joint accountability: Ruling Elders should willingly submit to annual reviews of their performance by a sub-committee of the Session. Teaching Elders should willingly submit to annual reviews of their performance by a sub- committee of the Session, in addition to regular (monthly?) check-ups with a small group of Ruling Elders, using the categories below to engage his heart. NOTE: A sub-committee of the Session should connect regularly with staff members to discern, among other things, how is your relationship with your senior pastor?

2) Be diligent to seek in a pastor’s life, through regularly scheduled meetings, evidence of these core values:

• Sober self-assessment 

Romans 12:3 By the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith God has assigned.

Galatians 6:3 If a man thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

• Gentleness

Hebrews 5:2 He (the priest) can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness.

• Tender sympathy

1 Peter 3:8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

• Grace-fueled diligence

1 Corinthians 15:10  But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.

1 Timothy 4:12  Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity … ¹⁵ Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. 

• Self-watch

1 Timothy 4:16  Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.

The humble will love others in proportion to their sense of unworthiness before the Lord: Luke 7:47 Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

• Desperate dependence

1 Corinthians 3: 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. ⁷ So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

John 15:5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 

• Confidence

Romans 15:17 In Christ Jesus, then, I have reason to be proud of my work for God.¹⁸ For I will not venture to speak of anything except what Christ has accomplished through me…

The humble gladly rest in these facts:

I am called by God; I have nothing to prove, nothing to lose, ministry is about God not me.

I am a steward of God’s gifts, anticipating that his grace toward me was not in vain.

I am delivered from the need for self-promotion, and therefore putting others down.

I am freed from the need to control and therefore manipulate others for my agenda.

I am liberated to seek the welfare of others ahead of myself.

I am compelled to fruitfulness for God’s glory, not my own reputation.

The core values delineated above only work within a culture in which the senior pastor is willing to be challenged, earnestly open to the contrarian, and to operate with a collegial approach to ministry. I recently spoke with a dear friend, who had a distinguished career in the top tier management of Bank of America and who also served as a ruling elder in a Bible-believing church, who told me how he highly valued working alongside others that “challenged my thinking.” He practiced the Biblical principles upon which a healthy leadership culture could thrive: On the one hand, a willingness to listen and have one’s thinking be challenged (Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27: 17), and on the other hand, make decisions in the company of counselors (Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisors they succeed. Proverbs 15:22). There’s a model of humble leadership worth emulating, and one which safeguards against one man’s pride harming the flock of Christ. 

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Addendum:   Suggested questions to dialogue with a pastor about the contours of humility in his life:   1) Does he ruthlessly seek to discern the contrasting ways humility and pride function in his heart? The humble can initiate critical self-evaluation; the proud avoid it but criticize others. The humble grieve over their own faults; the proud obsess over other’s faults. The humble are content to promote others; the proud long to be promoted. The humble repent of their sins; the proud rationalize their failures. Colossians 3:12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,  bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 2) How does he pray for himself? Because he deeply believes he is nothing apart from Christ, and all he has is a gift of Christ, and God gets all the glory for anything he does for others, the humble servant constantly pleads for grace, the Spirit’s empowering, wisdom from above, and to be kept by mercy from himself. He prays as if he is the greatest threat to the welfare of his church. He pleads, don’t let my sin ruin my relationships or our church. Ps. 19:13 Keep back your servant from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me. 3) How does his pride manifest itself? Ask him to explain what forms of self-centeredness, self-promotion, self-indulgence, or self-protection are likely to get the better of him? Romans 8:12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  4) Which idol is he most needing to repent of regularly? Needing to be right. Needing to be in control. Needing to be liked. 1 John 5:21 Little children, keep yourselves from idols. 5) How does his devotional life function to promote humility and mortify pride? 1 Peter 2:2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— 3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. 6) At home, how do his wife and children experience his pride and humility? Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 7) Is he a good listener? Humble servants value learning and listening over telling others what they know. Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. 8) When he does speak, is his delivery style is as important as his content? James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger… 9) What is he most likely to demand of others? The Bible commands the flock- for their part- to follow and obey their shepherds. This is accomplished most effectively when followership is earned rather than demanded. Luke 22:26 But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.  1 Thessalonians 2:7 But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. 10) How would he describe his self-awareness? Humble people care deeply how they impact others and how others experience them. They need acute self-awareness. So as a rule, is he: Caring, sympathetic and concerned… or …  aloof, distracted or uninterested? Open, inviting and warm… or … shy, self-protecting, standoffish or cold? Disarming and vulnerable… or … overbearing, dominating, or condescending? Attentive and focused… or … controlling, self-absorbed or demanding? Genuinely affirming of others… or … merely selfishly seeking approval with flattery? Engaging, interested and inquisitive… or … unapproachable, critical or self-promoting? Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  11) Is he aware of what tries his patience? What types of people and circumstances make him impatient? Do you slow down when you are convinced you are right, bearing with those in the wrong? Do you persist in loving others even when you’re not getting what you want? What are you like when you don’t get your own way? 2 Timothy 2:24  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. 12) In what specific areas has the Lord sanctified him? Some possible questions for him: How have your years in ministry shaped your character? How have the things you have suffered conformed you to Jesus’ image? How have you grown as a result of annual evaluations? How have you changed based on input from trusted confidants? How has the Lord redeemed failures in your life? Hebrews 2:10 For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. 11 For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source 13) In what ways has he responded to criticism in the past? Under what circumstances are you tempted to be defensive, go on the attack, or ignore correction? How have you grown from your critics? Galatians 5:15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another….26  Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.   14) The Devil is plotting right now to remove him from the ministry: what means will he likely employ? Most men will be tempted to abuse sex, power and authority, or money. Do you know where your greatest weakness lies? 1 Peter 5: 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.  15) What regular disciplines do you enjoy to embody a lifestyle of faith and repentance? Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,  looking to Jesus . . .

  

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Rev. Michael Sharrett is a pastor in the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA), a graduate from Westminster Theological Seminary and an individual member of the World Reformed Fellowship.